Lke Denial Flattered Love Desperation
by pseudo-shigure
Summary: Summary: when you’re in love, but couldn’t have it. RyoTezu


A/N: I actually not really into TezuRyo but this is pretty much what /I/ oops I mean /my friends/ feel right now. Seriously, it's my friends' stories not me!

It started from the moment you saw him.  
You know he was different. Special.

You yourself know you were brilliant.  
And that's why he noticed you.  
You liked his attention.  
You liked him.

You just liked him. Or so you told yourself.  
But couldn't help for being flattered when he kept his eyes on you.  
"He's the captain, he gives attention to everyone," you said.  
You denied it.  
"He has a lover," you reminded yourself.

He made you run 20 laps. You should hate it.  
But it also meant he notice you.  
You were flattered.  
"But he makes everyone run some laps," you excused.  
Then again, maybe it was different when it came to you.  
Maybe you had a chance. You hoped.

His lover stood next to him.  
He didn't run any laps.  
He couldn't make him.  
He was special.  
And you were not.

"Just quit it! He has someone!" your brain told you.  
"Quit it before it gets deeper,"  
You decided your brain was right.

Once, everyone worried about you. They told you to quit the match.

He didn't. He saw right into you. He knew what you want.  
He believed you. He gave you a chance.  
You were flattered. You couldn't help it.  
Maybe you did have a chance.

The other day, he challenged you.  
And you were flattered.  
It was an unofficial match outside the school.  
With no one but you and he.  
And you were damn flattered!

He beat you. Your first lost.  
The first person who actually win from you.  
You should hate him.  
Instead, it just made everything clear.  
You loved him. L-O-V-E. You loved him.

He said, "I count on you,"  
He said that to you. Not his lover.  
You were really flattered.

You kept thinking about those words. The match. Him.  
It broke your defenses.  
This whole time of saying "I like him," changed to "I love him,"

You thought you know him.  
You thought you were the only one who understands him.  
But he knew him better.  
His lover.

Oh how you wished they'd break up.  
How you wished to hate him. His lover.  
But the worst thing was you couldn't.

You knew they were perfect together. Meant for each other.  
His lover was a genius. And maybe it was the only similarity you both shared.  
He was loveable. You were an arrogant brat.  
He always had a beautiful smile on his face. You covered your face with a cap.  
You couldn't be like him. You never could. You both were totally different.

But maybe he would something different for once.  
"Please, just this time," your heart said. Your heart wished.  
You kept waiting.  
For the time he would realize. Would break up.  
Would say that he love you too.  
"Joy enjoy these moments," you cheered yourself.

"You're just hurting yourself," your brain reminded you again.  
"How long will you wait. 3 months? 6 months? 8? Until he graduate? What if they're really meant for each other?" your brain asked.  
"Will you still be waiting for him?"  
It was logical. It was right.  
So you built all your strength.  
And started forgetting him.  
Even hated him.

You didn't love him anymore. Or so you said.  
Kept telling yourself you didn't love him anymore.  
You had successfully got thru him.

But you knew you couldn't.  
You watched him everyday. And it just made you want to hold him.  
When he saw you, you turned away.  
Because you were blushing every time he did that.  
When you talked to you, you hid your face under your cap.  
Because your eyes would tell him how much you love him.

And when the light was off. And you were alone in your room.  
You thought about him.  
You even dreamed about him.  
About you and he together.

"But he's not yours!" said your brain.  
"I know! But still…" said your heart desperately.

You were desperate.  
Your love suffocated you.  
You would deny your feeling.  
If only you could.  
Was being flattered a sin?  
Since you silently enjoyed it. But told the world you didn't.

Your brain or your heart?  
Quit or kept dreaming?


End file.
